by Ben KC Lee
In the Whole Life Inventory survey taken by our church last year (2018), there was a notably stark difference – 76% of the respondents think that parents have the primary responsibility of teaching the young about sex and sexuality; in actual fact, only 17% do.
As a matter of fact, any open discussion about sexuality, especially (and sadly) in a church setting, can be a rather unnerving experience for many. But why so? Why do we fear even mentioning the word ‘sex’, let alone addressing our sexual brokenness with transparency?
Unmasked, written by Ben KC Lee, seeks to examine why many who struggle with sexual brokenness carry the subconscious pressure to mask their mess and cracks. The author hopes to inspire readers to champion a culture of authenticity in the church, beginning with the individual.
Lee refuses to shirk away from difficult issues which include viewing pornographic materials or masturbating frequently. He acknowledges that sexual brokenness is all around us. What feeds its pervasive growth is the deadening sense of guilt and shame that follows. We hit rock bottom when we find ourselves stuck in such a perverted mess. We avoid being vulnerable to others with our innermost private struggles, masking ourselves, in fear of being un-likeable. Unmasked posits that by leaving brokenness un-addressed, we rob ourselves and our families from the life-giving joy God promises to those who return to Him.
The book is divided into three segments. The first addresses why we need to practice authenticity with our sexuality. The second proceeds to explore why we are uncomfortable with the idea of being honest about our sexual brokenness. The third concludes with an instructive guide on how readers can take practical steps to start living authentically.
It is noteworthy to also mention that Unmasked draws upon Lee’s personal story and testimonies from people (including church members and pastors) all over Singapore. As a result, readers will surely find his stories relatable and close to home.
I enjoyed Unmasked primarily because it spoke deeply to my need for a community that provides a safe place for wounded sinners like me to be accountable to and to receive healing. And there is no better community out there than the church of Jesus Christ – we eagerly await the day when more than 76% of our church can have authentic discussions about the private and hidden struggles we face.
Yes, I would strongly recommend this book to all. It is a book that confronts the belief that we must put up a pretence to please God and protect our reputation. Yet even so, it is a book that provides comfort and hope to the broken-hearted, encouraging the church to come alongside sinners, just as Christ had modelled for us. (Mark 2:17)
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